hummus

me. i made hummus. myself. no recipe (its the only way i cook)

I was pretty impressed with myself and I only had about one minor explosion of sorts.

How can this happen with hummus you ask? easy...just take a blender....a spoon (any kind will do) and me.

Blending chickpeas is hard work so you know i'm there with the spoon doing what i think i've seen others do trying to put the wooden spoon in the blender to mash the chickpeas down. KABLAMO...a big chuck of the spoon is gone and there is hummus all over the kitchen (even inside my purse)

anyway...i learned my lesson, cleaned up the chickpeas (my floor needed a wash anyway) and found the large wooden chuck in the hummus and pulled it out.

Its pretty good too. i think i'll be eating that sweetness for supper

yes I joined a gym

okay so...in my quest to begin this "fulfilling life" i have joined a gym. I've been feeling like a weenie as my muscles have been slowly deteriorating.

Let me just say. man oh man are there some serious weirdos at the gym. seriously!

Okay so to start things off, there is the girl going hard on the cardio machine that definitely, definitely has anorexia. Not exactly weird, just super sad...i see her on the machine spending hours at self loathing and i wonder does the gym ever say anything about it? and i imagine there are people who probably go up to this girl and say something like "stop working out you look sick" and that is just as mean. so i continue working out...sort of depressed for skeletor.

and then there is that dude who I saw at the christmas party with a coworker who was really dorky weird and he's doing these amazing tarzan hanging moves and i see what a wicked ass body he has. but i can just tell he is a real creeper...but not as bad as the old dudes.

oh man the old dudes...gross. their working out and they have those girdles around their middle and their grunting and staring.

all these men just walking around peacocking trying to impress eachother...its just weird.

then there are the dudes just walking around looking at girls, they are the ones who make me the most uncomfortable because I'm no gym star so they just look at me...make some sort of judgement and move on. I guess i should just be happy they even looked, larger women probably don't even exist to them.

dear lord. so creepy. i think i'll try the "ladies only" side tomorrow

On being single

It has now been three months of being single. sigh.



I'd like to think I was one of those fiercely independent women who cleave to their singledom like I do chocolate cake, but I'm not. I'm also not one of those women who hate being single so much she'll accept just about anything to avoid aloneness. I'm sort of between the two.




But I am impatient and an imaginative woman who can take a plain situation and ruffle up the edges and make it into a very romantic looking specimen of love. Quite a bit like this dog girl.




I'm trying not to do that this time.

I know that what I need to do is to create such a compelling future that I am okay to follow it alone, and then when Mr. Right shows up it is a natural fit but right now, I don't even believe in this compelling future so why would someone else.

Presenting the new love of my life!

Day 10 - Chips and Hummus

This ain't so bad.

Some days I have felt really sick with a wicked headache and even had to go home. I've also felt really mad that I have to do this and why can't i have a perfect body with perfect health when others seem to. And sometimes I am sick of vegetables and want something more exciting.

But most of the times, it hasn't been so bad. I prepared all my foods in advance and this has made a huge difference. When i am hungry I always have something quick and tasty to turn to that is within my diet.

I eat lots of chips and hummus, its my savior. Specifically hummus because of the bold flavour, and this week i bought the ingredients to start making the hummus myself since the store bought stuff just doesn't hack it.

I also eat popcorn.

Earlier this week i went to the movie theatre and decided to have a splurge and eat popcorn and a drink at the theatre. Technically this is a cheat, but you have to have some wiggle room to survive this kind of thing long term. When I got home to go to bed i realized i had diet coke, with caffeine! I was horrified with myself, i just plain old forgot and now i wasn't going to be able to sleep which seemed ridiculous.

Later this week I am going to make a brushetta made from peppers instead of tomatoes, to have it with my chips. yummbo!

Day 3 - Wecome to the mood swings

So first day of the cleanse I wanted to die i felt so sick.

Yesterday, i wanted everyone else to die because i was so mad.

today...is still a mystery....but i am feeling the return of the migrain from day one.

The mornings always go really well (except the first day from tiredness) and then come 2 pm. WAMMOh! thats when the mood swings hit...or something else.

Today i woke up with intense muscle pain, which also a sign of the candida in your body being mad about being starved.

I only had small cravings for sugar yesterday so that was a plus.

I would even say, there are some times where this is getting easy.

this could be a happy mood swing though

Day 1 - Candida Cleanse

I've been on vacation for the last two weeks. Hence the lack of posts.

I will be uploading photos and such but i forgot to bring my camera to work today. They are coming post haste!

But today is the first day of me doing this Candida diet cleanse. Its been 6 hours...its starting to get a little rough. Who knew it would start this quickly?

I have a headache. brainfog. i'm tired. I feel hungry...despite my massive lunch.

part of this trouble is to do with the fact this is my first day without a coffee. so that is going to be trouble as well.

But i'm prepare for two weeks of hell so I'm not surprised to have some reaction and more will come.

I think i'll be renting lots of movies, eating lots of popcorn and sleeping in order to get through it all.

But i keep reminding myself i'm doing this for all sorts of reasons and mostly its my health, i so often just ignore my body's signs that it doesn't like eating certain things and such. i'm young now, but i won't be forever and i need to take care of myself a lot better.

so here goes nothing

candida

when i was 15 i was diagnosed with Candida, which is an overgrowth of yeast in your body which manifests itself as a variety of symptoms like anxiety, eczema, fatigue and the like. So for 6 weeks I lived on the candida diet which is veggies, meat and some low carb grains like brown rice. Not much more, not much less. this diet starves the yeast into a moderate proportion in your life.

since then as i have felt sicker and sicker I've thought about going back on this diet. it may sound easy but its actually very difficult. depriving yourself of any form of sugar can cause your body to go into shock and the yeast is the cause of your cravings.

a friend of mine recently had to go on this diet for allergy and other health issues. and talking with her about these things has convinced me that it is time to go back on this diet until I can get my heath back. problem is, I have no idea how long I will have to pursue this eating plan, could be months, could be years, just depends on how long it takes.

so when I come back from my vacation on August 17th i will be doing this plan. the first thing I have done to prepare is i made two weeks worth of meals so that i wouldn't go hungry.

I will also be getting a food journal, taking some supplements and talking to my friend when I am having a mental breakdown from not having any sugar.